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:: Sunday, September 8 ::

This fellow has got to learn
to pick the fights he can win.

Japan has better parades than we do [R-rated].

Today's animal story!

Hate is easy; love is hard. Professional hater Ann Coulter get's fired from another paper. A good read.

:: bill burton [+] ::

shown at full speed
Brother Noj sent this link to me. Cup Sorting (more impressive than it sounds I assure you).

:: bill burton [+] ::

:: Friday, September 6 ::
yesterday's ride...
... lasted 32:55, 8 miles, 151 avg bpm, 173 max, 14.6 mph avg, 26.3 max. I looked down and the dern thing had stopped, so the numers are off. On the plus side I did actually get going that fast.

Want to go to Puffy's party? Better wax your legs & get a "shape-up".

Atomica is the best thing to hit the web ever. Yes, including
and the way back machine. Atomica will look up the definition of any word displayed on your screen. This is Atomica's definition of an "ohnosecond". While you're there download the little program".

:: bill burton [+] ::

:: Thursday, September 5 ::
This will come in handy
From Steps in Overcoming Masturbation "In very severe cases it may be necessary to tie a hand to the bed frame with a tie...".

Speaking of lust man I sure dig that new 350Z.

The Honda Element is on the other end of the spectrum but that's another sweet new car.

Somewhere between the two is the New Accord Coupe

Remember how crappy the 80s were for new cars?

:: bill burton [+] ::

Jimmy Carter writes...
Peremptory rejections of nuclear arms agreements, the biological weapons convention, environmental protection, anti-torture proposals, and punishment of war criminals have sometimes been combined with economic threats against those who might disagree with us. These unilateral acts and assertions increasingly isolate the United States from the very nations needed to join in combating terrorism.

Tragically, our government is abandoning any sponsorship of substantive negotiations between Palestinians and Israelis."

A great piece in The Washington Post

:: bill burton [+] ::

from the Duh Department
First he's not a terrorist, now he is.

The July 4th attack on LAX was of course a terrorist attack but Bush doesn't want us to think that. The Administration wants us to be scared that we may be attacked at any minute but rest assured that they are protecting us. Bah!

I don't know what these guys are talking about. Every day is Penis Day!

Today is Raquel Welch's birthday. I wish her assistants would stop throwing out my letters and she would find out how much I love her. Just one silly restraining order...

:: bill burton [+] ::

:: Wednesday, September 4 ::
Experts denounce call to kill Keiko - September 4, 2002

I want to swim with him!!!

:: bill burton [+] ::

another weenie day
two weenie bike rides in a row. Here goes...

39:07 9.9 miles 146bpm avg, 165 max, 15.3 mph avg, 77.8 mph max BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

off a cliff mabye. Crap and I just bought this thing.

:: bill burton [+] ::

:: Tuesday, September 3 ::
Kill Willy?
A Norwegian whaling expert, Nils ien, says the killer whale who stared in the "Free Willy" movies should be put to death.

Why? From the story this fella appears to be a happily maladjusted whale. If only half the people I met on the street were as nice as that.

I suspect a sloppy editor cut out the mans argument. Either that or Nils is just a complete bung-hole. (;-{)}

:: bill burton [+] ::

slow ride
I went anyway but took it real slow and easy... 45:52 10.3 miles 134 bpm avg, 155 max, 13.5 mph avg, 43.3 max.

43.3 max???

I think I'd remember that. As flat as it is downtown Chicago I would have to be chased by a rabid greyhound to get going that fast. My bike computer must be getting screwy. The other numbers look right though. Weird...

:: bill burton [+] ::

Dang I'm tired.
Third day in a row poor sleep. argh!. I may take a nap at lunch instead of my bike ride today.

Trying to switch over my host and weblog software so updates here will be light. Be on the look-out for changes!

Here's a great way to waste some time while spending some mo-nay! Anandtech's Hot Deals Forum. I have recently found some GREAT deals and bought a CD Burner, a Sharp Zaurus, some clothing and a hard disk.



:: bill burton [+] ::

:: Monday, September 2 ::
I'm down to 208.5 lbs. (:-{)}

:: bill burton [+] ::

just the good middle bits
For today's ride I did not measure my weenie warm up and cool down parts of the ride. So with just the hard part I got 40:32 11.4 miles,16.9 mph avg, 23.8 max 170 avg & 182 max bpm.


:: bill burton [+] ::

:: Sunday, September 1 ::
some history
Stumbled across this pretty neat site about Internet history. Can't find my name in there so it's not necessarily finished...

Heres a link to some terrific "Photos of the Day". Note: site does not seem to like Mozilla a lot display some "?" in odd places. But hey, IE does not display pictures so I wonder what browser they are using for QC?

Today's Animal Story is about .a baby gecko. OK. It's not really a story, per say, but if a story pops into your head send it to me!

:: bill burton [+] ::

True Love
Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father: prepare to die. Now, offer me money. [slices Count Rugen's cheek]
Count Rugen: Yes.
Inigo Montoya: Power too. Promise me that. [slices Count Rugen's other cheek]
Count Rugen: All that I have and more. Please...
Inigo Montoya: Offer me everything I ask for.
Count Rugen: Any thing you want.
Inigo Montoya: I want my father back, you son of bitch. [stabs and kills Count Rugan]

Movie quotes on-line!

Oh yeah. I promised true love didnt I? Dig this new weblog.

:: bill burton [+] ::


Just got called in to work. (:-{(}

I guess I'll break down and get something to eat since I won't do anyone any good being all dizzy.

:: bill burton [+] ::

Fast tips
Trying to fast but willpower weakening? Clean your bathroom! Seriously, I ain't hungry at all now and I've not eaten in 15 hours. (:-{/}

When I retire I want to live on this boat!

Billed by its Norwegian owners as the world's first and only residence at sea, The World, a 12-deck, 43,000-ton, 644-foot passenger ship, arrived here today a floating condominium with apartments, not cabins, ranging in price from more than $2 million to more than $7 million.

St. John's is one of 140 ports in 40 countries that the vessel is to visit in its inaugural year, the start of a perpetual circumnavigation of the globe.

I like thier tagline, "Own a home in over 100 countries".

Feel strongly about the future? Bet on it at Longbets.

:: bill burton [+] ::

Fasting sucks
I'm five hours into my fast having slept an extra three hours today. Truth be told I am feeling weak and Krispy Kreams turns their light on soon. (:-{)}

Ever wanted your own Land Speeder? Now you can.

What the heck? The CIA's new Terrorist-Busters logo. Does that look like ass or what?

Hey! I woke up at 209 pounds today. Not bad considering I was 212.5 the day before.

Let's hear it for water loss!!!

:: bill burton [+] ::

:: Saturday, August 31 ::
& exhausting. I went hard at it for an hour and 45 minutes. The downside is that I'm too pooped to get my ass to the gym.

I just grilled chicken for dinner. While eating Banana (my daughter) & I watched a movie, John Q.

I must say I didn't care for it all that much. Predictable, plausability problems but decent hankie movie if you're into that kind thing.

Tomorrow: fast, bills, paperwork and for tha site, config email addy, clean up layout, add links to bottom of mini sites and most definately post some odd links!

Time for bed (2:40pm).


:: bill burton [+] ::

Georgous Saturday
Going on a two hour bike ride in a minute. Hope to lift later today too.

Tomorrow I fast.

:: bill burton [+] ::

:: Friday, August 30 ::
My buddy Noj tells me the new Animatrix trailer was released. The "live action" characters are computer generated.

Look at Jue and tell me if you beleive that she's not real!!!

I haven't been in love with a cartoon since Jessica Rabbit

OK Sweet bike ride this morning. Let's see...

40:55 10.9 miles, 161 bpp avg, 182 bpp max, 15.9 mph avg, 23.9 max.

Well it sure felt good anyway!

:: bill burton [+] ::

:: Thursday, August 29 ::
weigh in
209.5 @21%

Below 210.

Over 60 useless pounds lost. Woot!

:: bill burton [+] ::

:: Wednesday, August 28 ::
Guy abducted a 8 year old girl in my town yesterday, stripped her nude and slipped her drugs. Perv was released after his family met the $25,000 bail. How could the Judge have set this so low?

The paper printed creepo's name, picture, address, court date, getting most of that info from the police one imagines. Dupage County has a history of poor tolerance for child abusers.

I mentioned a flasher in my last entry... While on my 6am bike ride today along Lake Shore Drive I called the cops on a flasher. The guy was standing behind a sign within view of the bike path with his thingie hanging out and playing with it. He saw me call the cops and zipped up but didn't move. I went on my ride and turned around at my usual place. The creep was still there when I returned, thingie back out. So I pulled over and waited. He saw the cops and tried to stroll off but your vigilant vigilante pointed him out to Chicago's finest.

The officer asked if I wanted to file a complaint. I wanted to but the guy was homeless and you know he would never show up. More inconvienience for me than him so I declined.

Cop said "Don't worry. We'll take care of him". He added hurriedly "Within the bounds of the law of course."

I would prefer that they beat the crap out of him behind a dumpster.

Today's flasher is tommorrows child abductor.


:: bill burton [+] ::

Bike ride: 45:26, 11.4 miles, 159 bpp avg, 179 max bpp, 15.1 mph avg, 21.4 max mph.

Pretty good considering I had to stop midway and call the cops on a jogging path flasher. (:-{o}

:: bill burton [+] ::

. . .

New Mozilla released!
Mozilla is far and away the best browser available today.

Bookmarklets are little mini-programs in your link bar (IE or Moz) that can be made to do some pretty nifty stuff. Dig!

Check out this centuries old manuscript that no one knows what language it's in or what it's about!

Down to 210.5 & 21%. Hmmm six pounds in three days, not bad!

Must run, er, uh bike!

:: bill burton [+] ::

:: Tuesday, August 27 ::
Today's Animal Story
I try to send an animal story every day to my sister cause she's such a nut (a neighborhood squirrel has declared her to be his God and leaves her offerings every day at her doorstep). Today I stole the following dog Haiku...

        Today I sniffed

        Many dog butts

        I celebrate

        By kissing your face.

from The Dog Blog. Check it out!

This morning's bike ride: 41:27, 10.4 mi. 165 bpp avg, 186 max, 15.1 avg mph 21.7 max.

Not bad but I am off noticably from before I got ill.

:: bill burton [+] ::

Knowing I am traveling to Montana soon My Mom found this to warn me about (What are Mom's for right?)...

The Montana State Department of Fish and Wildlife is advising hikers, hunters, fishermen, rescue dog handlers, and golfers to take extra precautions and be on the alert for bears while in the Gallatin, Helena, and Lewis and Clark National Forests. They advise people to wear noise-producing devices such as little bells on their clothing to alert, but not startle the bears unexpectedly. They also advise you to carry pepper spray in case of an encounter with a bear. It is also a good idea to watch for signs of bear activity.

People should be able to recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear droppings. Black bear droppings are smaller and contain berries and possibly squirrel fur.

Grizzly bear droppings have bells in them and smell like pepper spray.

:: bill burton [+] ::

Nuttin but links...
I am using w.bolaggar for the first time. It's a Windows app used to post to blogs. Pretty sweet but alas no speel checker. We'll see how it goes.

Listed bamph on weblogs for the first time. That's a list of most recently updated weblogs. Check it out!

Warning rants ahead!

If you're worried about your rights read Washington Bends the Rules in the NY Times...

"Recently, in two federal cases, the Justice Department argued that it is within the president's inherent power to indefinitely detain, without any charges, any person, including any United States citizen, whom the president (through the Justice Department) designates an "enemy combatant." Further, the person can be locked away, held incommunicado and denied counsel. Finally, Mr. Ashcroft argues that such a decision is not subject to review by federal or state courts. This situation is beyond even Kafka, who in his parable of punishment and paranoia at least supplied Josef K. with an attorney."

Looking for the "gotcha" in Bush's Healthy Forests plan? Here it is.

The final NY Times link is another OP/Ed peice explainig that the lastest person to be vindicated and release from death row was in a mental hospital and on medication when he confessed..

Yeah, 110 wrongly convicted people released so far. What of the innocents awaiting execution that have no exculpatory DNA in some dusty police locker? Time to kill the death penalty..

I'm no fun tonight huh?

:: bill burton [+] ::

:: Monday, August 26 ::
A weighty issue
Forgot to mention yesterday that I awoke 3.5 pounds lighter. Lost another pound today to go to 212! (:-{)}.

So the total to date is 58+ lb. droppage. Think about carrying around an extra 60 pounds all day. Talk about a Sisyphean task, no wonder fat people feel miserable!

My goal is to get from a high of over 270 (medical scale, very embarassing) to 190 & 10% body fat. I'm now about 22% body fat.

At 270 I was about 40% fat which is about 110 pounds of fat (gross when you think about it like that huh?).

Time to get ready for werk.

:: bill burton [+] ::

HRM (Heart Rate Monitor)
On my lunch break at 4:30 this morning I rode my bike for 36 minutes 57 seconds. I went 8.3 miles at a 13.6 mph average and once attained 20.7 mph. During all this my average heart rate was 145 beats per minute and maxed at 166.

Hmmm... perhaps I'll keep this HRM gadget after all.


"My friends always said I had an incredibly long tongue - I could make lots of money with it one day".

In response to Bush's new anti-drug campaign that pot heads are financing terrorists I reply "It's the gas stupid!"

And for the day's Public Service Announcement: I recently learned that the only proven way to add 40 or 50 years to your life is through caloric-restriction. But as my friend Pete points out "who wants 40 more years of starvation?"

:: bill burton [+] ::

:: Sunday, August 25 ::

Let me know what you think of the changes going on here at Bill's Web Flotsam. The Harley site has been updated (there's a secret to be had in there for rmh regulars) and I finally changed the asstacular home page (and added a blog!)

Spent a lot of time researching blogs today. This is a GREAT comparison chart.

Got that bike ride in, 40 minutes. Had to hold myself back as much as I could. I swear I'm a dog straining at the leash sometimes. Gor, I can't stand getting passed!

Can't decide about the HRM. It is a sweet gadget. Did the other crap on the To-Do list. Perhaps the shame bit is a good idea? It'll prolly wear off.

As a service to the paranoid I give you an infidelity test kit.

Good luck with that!


:: bill burton [+] ::


My name is Bill and this is my smiley face --> (:-{)}

I am 43, male, single, 5' 11" and weigh 216.5 pounds.

About ten days ago I weighed 207 pounds. I got a wee bit sick and decided to stop working out for a while to rest. My subconscious concluded that I should also eat heartily any crap laying around to help stave off infection. Result, near a pound a day additional tubbage.

Reasons for this blog include: publicly shaming myself into doing all the things on my to-do list, sharpen my writing, have some place to post odd links I run across, track my fitness, and allow me to get stuff off my chest without harming anyone (like the guy yelling at the trains in a subway station).

Today's list of To-Do items:
   -- Start a blog
   -- Ride my bike
   -- Reconcile my checking account
   -- Return a Heart Rate Monitor
   -- Sort through the bottomless paperwork pile

As my first blog's first link I offer something simple to help the kind reader prevent Constipation, Hemorrhoids, Appendicitis, Diverticulosis, Hernias, Heart Attacks, Prostate Disorders and Colon Cancer.

Now I think I'll go on that bike ride.   (;-{)}

:: bill burton [+] ::

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